My mind grows and shrinks. 

My life has skated along the edge.

I have been to countless brinks.

Always, I have come back.


Once, I would give it all

To get to that ledge, feel the high.

I would push myself to fall.

I desired. I was addicted.


My mind was afflicted.

All I wanted was to disappear.

The noose never constricted.

Not once did I perish forevermore.


Always, I woke with shame.

My life was still. I, a fool.

The voices laughed. It was a game.

And I was addicted. Indulging. 


Now, here I stand.

A cautious hand on the door,

Ready to explore this land.

To not indulge, anymore.