Lea was a good girl.

She woke up at the appropriate time, every day. She made her bed. She brushed her hair. She brushed her teeth. When it was time to eat, she ate. Her mother always praised her at breakfast. Her father smiled over his coffee.

Lea was a good girl.

Every day, she wore the same outfit. She made sure it was clean and crisp. After all, society did not approve of messy individuals, or so her father always told her. Her mother told her that in order for her to get somewhere, she had to look presentable. And, she could not be a messy person. She had to get somewhere. She always had her school bag packed and organized, for only successful people are neat.

Lea was a good girl.

She rode the bus. She went to school. She listened. She wrote notes. For, that was what all good people did that wanted to have a future. The teachers adored her. She always excelled at everything she put her mind to. Classes were always the greatest. She had a very promising future. She had a great routine and road ahead of her. Everyone applauded her for it.

Lea was a good girl.

When lunch came around, she ate her food in the corner. She sat alone and ate in a routine manner. Right to left. That was the order. And be sure to wipe away all the crumbs. Messy people make it nowhere in the world. Her mother taught her to eat in a presentable manner. Messy people aren’t seen with important people. Clean people are.

Lea was a good girl.

It was almost the end of lunch. At this time, she should be heading to her next class to be early. But. She had to relieve herself. It was severe and abrupt. She had to go. Normally, she had her movements scheduled. Like clockwork. She did not ever do this, but it was impossible to resist. She would not last. Her cheeks burned when she entered the lightly populated restroom. The eyes were on her as she walked to the furthest stall.

As she sat there, she felt a small panic creep into her stomach. She was breaking her routine. This was not right. without a routine, she would fall into chaos. She would fail at life. Perhaps it was time to readjust her routine. Take this into account. Plan a bathroom break into the end of lunch.

Lea was a good girl.

Her mother told her that she should not get distracted. Her father pursed his lips and made no comment. It was clear that she should put her physical needs after her school and success. They did continued with their night like they normally did, leaving her to eat alone and think about how she had ruined her routine.

Lea was a good girl..

The next few days, she worked to reestablish her routine. She was failing. First, the bathroom. The next day, she forgot to bind her hair up. When she went to look into her bag. She realized she had forgotten to pack her small essentials bag to fix this problem. Another, she forgot her specific blue pen for history class. She missed a question on a test. She was going to fail at school. Her future opportunities were dwindling. Her parents did not look at her.

Lea was a good girl….

She kept a face. Nothing was wrong. She had to continue. She had to reestablish herself. She had to. She had to. She had to. She wasn’t going to be a failure. She wasn’t going to be a failure. She was going to get things done right. She had this. She was going to fix it. She was a good girl!

Her teacher asked her a question. She did not hear it. She had failed the teacher. After class, she was held back. Was anything wrong? No. She was fine. She seemed distracted? Was anything wrong? No. Everything was fine. She was a good girl. Good girls didn’t screw up.

She went to the restroom. She sat in a stall. Her heart was rushing. She had no thoughts. She was numb. Her life was now a failure. SHe broke her routine. She was not right. She was not okay. How dare she screw up like this?

She missed her next class. A group of girls walked into the bathroom. She heard them giggle. They stopped near her stall. One was talking about boys and blah blah blah. Lea was not listening to them anymore. Lea just wanted them to leave.

Someone knocked on the stall door. She did not hear them. Someone knocked on the stall. She did not hear them. Someone knocked on the stall. She did not hear them.

The next day, she skipped class entirely. She sat in the bathroom. The next day, she skipped class. She sat in the bathroom. She was already a failure. So, what did it matter?

A group of girls came into the bathroom. They stared at her. One shouted at her. Lea did not hear her. She was staring at the mirror. She just stared. The girls left. An adult came in. She did not hear them.

She was escorted to the office. She was put in detention. Her mother cried. Her father shook his head. She was a failure. She had failed. Her life was over. What did it matter?

In detention, she met a girl. She had dark eyes. She sung songs under her breath to Lea. Her eyes glittered. The snake sang more. Lea listened. Do you wanna feel perfect again?

Lea was a good girl.

Later that night, she sat in her room. She held the pill that was given to her with a promise of more. It made her happy. It made her feel again. The next day, she had another. Then two. She was higher than she had ever felt. Maybe there was hope for her. She would redeem herself. She was in class again. More pills. She was ready. Her parents would be proud of her again. She would have a future!

She failed her test.

In the bathroom, she cried over the mirror. A group of girls came in. They shouted at her. She turned to them. Her eyes did not see them. All she heard was the names they called her. She felt a snap. She was a failure. She was a failure. They knew it. That’s why they taunted her. One took a step towards her and grabbed her arm. The world turned to silver and spun. She heard their screams. Then their silence.

She sat on the red floor. Echoes bounced off the walls. A giggle escaped her. Adults entered and yelled out. She could not hear them. She was a failure. She was a failure. She was a failure. Good girls never failed. Good girls never broke their routines. Good girls never killed other girls. Only bad girls did that and were perfect for their crimes.

Lea smiled as they walked her to the psych ward. Lea was a perfectly good bad girl.


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