I have never been the prettiest. I was never popular. Never the skinniest. I was not the one you would pay attention to. I had no pride. Nothing. I was the socially awkward, mean, and fairly weird girl. I was moody and arrogant. I was so caught up in my web of misery. My self harm was at its peak. My eating disorder and anxiety were throwing my life off. I was in a situation that was unhealthy for my mental being.
I could go on for hours. But I won’t. I was just scrolling through ancient posts. Paused. I realized I am not the same girl. I am someone new. I have embarked on a journey of self love. Maybe that’s what my twenties are for.
I am now a fairly confident woman. While I dropped out of college for my own reasons, I am still fairly intelligent and never stopped learning. I will not stay on the sidelines. I still suffer from depression, but I am not hurting myself every few hours or wallowing away. I am clean and alive. My anxiety does not control me. I post pictures of myself and am not ashamed of the bad bits of me. Perfection is not my goal anymore. I am a boss of a multi-million dollar establishment and have the ability to impact lives. I can be ridiculous and make people happy. I’m in a committed relationship with someone that motivates me.
My heart is opening. My walls are going down. Some days are rough. But I am trying. Everyday is an adventure.