I have flown before. I have been on a plane more than once. What’s different this time?

I am flying by myself. I am not the minor with the attendants directing me. I am not the minor accompanying seasoned flyers through the airport. No. I am doing this on my own.

Needless to say, my nerves are on edge. Severely on edge. As the day grows closer, I find myself jittery.

Is this normal? Maybe. I don’t know. I am a paranoid individual. I am. These past few months are expanding beyond my comfort zone. I travelled without my partner. This time, I am flying alone and also not with my partner. With each stretch beyond my boundaries, I feel myself scream internally. There is a glimmer of excitement and a wave of fear.

I have not calmed myself quite yet. I know that will not happen until I have flown there and am safely back. I know this is a ramble on my nerves, but it is the only way I know how to express this sensation. Growing and trying new stuff is healthy, right? Pushing yourself is healthy, right?