7 AM alarm blares. Too tired to wake up.
Snooze.
7:15. Alarm sounds. Still too tired.
Snooze.
7:30. 7:45. 8.
No more snoozing. No more staring at the ceiling.
Out of bed. Limbs heavy. Shuffle to the bathroom. Stare at reflection. See nothing. Too tired.
Splash water on face. Moisturize. Brush teeth. Exhausted. Skip brushing hair.
Throw on clothes. Stare at wall. Stare at phone.
Sigh. Count to 10, smile, scowl. Repeat. Repeat until scowl goes away.
Shoes on. Grab water. Drink. Tasteless. Car keys in hand. Mentally prepare to leave.
Exit living quarters. Get into car. Turn on Spotify and find something positive. Put car in reverse, drive, head to work.
Drive past coffee shops – they’re closed. Zone out. Mentally prepare for work.
Park car. Inhale. Exhale.
Smile. Inspect smile in rearview mirror. Pass. Turn off car. Get out. Go to work.
Everything is okay. Everything is alright. Just breathe. Hakuna Matata. Nothing is wrong. You can do this. You got this. Repeat your mantra for the next 10 hours.
Stay over. It is busy. You can not leave. Things need done. Do it. Help out.
Finally collapse in office. Inhale. Exhale. Drink some water. Smile.
Grab your stuff. Say goodbye. Smile. Laugh. Joke as you leave. Lock the doors behind you.
Get in car. Sit in silence for a moment. Feet throbbing, back hurts, head hurts. You forgot to eat again. Oh well.
You needed to go to the store, but you missed your chance since you had to stay at work. Oh well.
Start car. Spotify. Go home. Ignore the closed signs. Ignore it. Do not feel.
Get home. Stare at wall. Breathe.
The world is different. Just accept. Do not over process for the sake of your mental health.
Turn on tv. People dying. People sick. Protests. Madness. Turn off tv.
Go to bed.
Repeat.