my life was cold
I take one step forward. The world makes sense. I lift my foot. The world goes back. The words are whispers in the wind. And I can not decipher them.
Swallow Falls State Park Adventure
I met you again. My stomach dropped. It was full of dread. My lungs collapsed. My heart ceased to exist. Irrational thoughts swirled. An attack, triggered. No escape in sight.
My feet are not staying on the path. My shoes are worn. I wanted to go left. So bad. But I tripped on a rock, fell forward, and rolled right. All these years, I was told to turn a certain way. When I stumbled, I fell away from that destination. And I have never felt…
Have you ever changed something in your life that you can not stop thinking about? Not with regret, just constant thinking. It consumes your mind when you least expect it. You're not obsessing over it. Yet. You just can not stop it from randomly popping up.
My brain. So painfully stagnant.
The urge to purge. The urge to relapse. The urge to run. The urge to cry. The urge to breakdown. The urge to hide. The urge to.....
So loud. So loud. I can not hear you. I can NOT hear YOU! You are so loud, I can not understand.