her thoughts often left.
Are all they are. Meaningless. Pointless. But they feel strong. Impact more than they should. Make you curl in on yourself. Emotionally compromised and insecure in the darkness. You cry to yourself. Will yourself to not feel. Feel nothing.. If you feel nothing, then you are better than these silly moments.
every year I delude myself...
I met you again. My stomach dropped. It was full of dread. My lungs collapsed. My heart ceased to exist. Irrational thoughts swirled. An attack, triggered. No escape in sight.
My feet are not staying on the path. My shoes are worn. I wanted to go left. So bad. But I tripped on a rock, fell forward, and rolled right. All these years, I was told to turn a certain way. When I stumbled, I fell away from that destination. And I have never felt…
The urge to purge. The urge to relapse. The urge to run. The urge to cry. The urge to breakdown. The urge to hide. The urge to.....
So loud. So loud. I can not hear you. I can NOT hear YOU! You are so loud, I can not understand.
We are not strangers. We have danced too many times in the past to different tunes.
I can still hear beyond the static.
I can still hear their voices. So loud. So loud. Calling. Crying. Screaming out to me. Every second grows harder. My desire is to listen. But. I can not let that happen. If I give in. I will. Fall. Back into that dark pit. Go around and around in circles. I do not want to…
All I do as of late is cry.
Tears for no reason. Tears for all the reasons. Stress tears. Happy tears. All the tears. Emotional. Always emotional.