Silly Moments

Are all they are. Meaningless. Pointless. But they feel strong. Impact more than they should. Make you curl in on yourself. Emotionally compromised and insecure in the darkness. You cry to yourself. Will yourself to not feel. Feel nothing.. If you feel nothing, then you are better than these silly moments.

Appreciation

A customer came in. A customer came in. Nothing new. Customers always come in. This gentleman is a regular. A kind man. He told me how he's turning 80 in January. If he makes it. I told him he will. Everything will work out. He smiled and said thank you. A customer came in. A…

Changes

Have you ever changed something in your life that you can not stop thinking about? Not with regret, just constant thinking. It consumes your mind when you least expect it. You're not obsessing over it. Yet. You just can not stop it from randomly popping up.  

Reaction

I have no response. I have no hopes. I have nothing to give. Nothing left to offer. What am I even doing with myself? What am I doing with myself? What is this mundane madness? There is no room left to react. Nothing left to do. What am I even doing with my life?  

Depressed

I wish I could make you understand there is no logic. No reason. Nothing to justify my feelings. The void is swallowing me. I am drowning. I do not know when I slipped in. I also do not know when I shall slip back out of the depths.

Digging Around

I spent some time today looking through a few of my older messages on tumblr. It was weird to look back at some of them. For a few, I find myself as confused now as I was then, when I received the message. For others, I find myself smiling and feeling warm. At the height…

Pulling Myself Back Up

In the midst of all the angst of my life, I received something that crushed me. I got a lovely rejection letter. In the days since, I have processed the feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and the anger. I looked at it. It was a positive experience for me. A learning one. But . . .…