Despair

My despair has expanded. I am unable to do anything right. Or, so I feel.  My depression is tickling the curve of my ear. I can not hear the words. I can just feel the breathing.  There is self doubt. I just feel mildly insecure. Not painfully. Just mildly.  The stress and lack of sleep…

A Battle to Get Ready

I haul my sorry self from my makeshift bed every day. My feet guide me through my apartment. The sleep is still clinging to my eyes, and the bags display the lack of genuine rest. The river of hair I possess is wild. I battle the demons that stroll around casually. Ignore their whispers. The…

Pardon my language, but….

You have made me feel like A piece of shit. You have reduced me to dirt. I'm destroying myself Because I am so  Upset Disturbed Unnerved Unsettled Over all that you've said. I'm sorry. But I feel so wretched. You always do this. Every time we are intimate, You treat me poorly days after. What…

I’m starving.

I truly am. My hands shake. My stomach aches. My mind grows fuzzy. I desperately desire to consume sustanence, yet I am unable to. Everything turns to ash before I taste it. Before I can savor it. Before I can find comfort in the simplest of bits.  I can pick up the smallest thing. It…

Why do you tell me you hate me?

When we kiss, When we hold each other, When our hands meet, When we love one another, When we do anything, You always tell me that  You hate me. Am I truly that bad? I wish you wouldn't tell me You hate me. Even if you laugh, Even if you smile, You hate me.

A Cold Bed

My bed is cold. Always cold.  Every night I dread crawling into it. It is unforgiving. When I prepare myself for bed, I find myself procrastinating actually going to bed. As I bind my hair and remove my makeup, I imagine what it would be like if it wasn't so cold. If I could curl…