Ideas

It came to me. In the dead of night. These little ideas. Snippets, rather. Not fully formed. Words that long to be written. The darkness wants to be expressed. My scars want to share their story. The desire to express it. Ideas on how. It all came to me. And the path is illuminated. That…

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Depressed

I wish I could make you understand there is no logic. No reason. Nothing to justify my feelings. The void is swallowing me. I am drowning. I do not know when I slipped in. I also do not know when I shall slip back out of the depths.

Even after a little over two years, I sometimes feel the temptation. My arm got a little cut. A small little ouchie. Nothing to fret over. Yet. Moments later.... I felt it. The excitement. The anticipation. The need for more. The demons giggled. Giggled. They tried to pet my hair.  The darkness skittered on the…

I saw a cat that reminded me of my childhood pet. I felt sad. Cut. Cut. Cut. I saw a group of girls giggling. Why can't I be part of that? No one likes me. Cut. Cut. Cut. I had a nightmare. I woke up in a panic. Cut. Cut. Cut. I got yelled at.…

Every time I took a blade to my flesh, the world went quiet as could be. My demons leaned over my shoulder, they encouraged me.   The world was so silent. Except for their call. I heard nothing except them. I was giving them all.   Once I felt that sharp sting, the world exploded.…

A Journey to Self Love

I have never been the prettiest. I was never popular. Never the skinniest. I was not the one you would pay attention to. I had no pride. Nothing. I was the socially awkward, mean, and fairly weird girl. I was moody and arrogant. I was so caught up in my web of misery. My self…

It has been two years since I last fell into that dark pit. It was a dangerous area. It is still one that I must tiptoe around. I climbed out of it, but there are still times, two years later, that I fear falling back. Two years ago, I mutilated myself for what I hope…